I recently opened up a new bank account at M&T. I’m planning a move in the not-too-distant future and I wanted a bank that would be where I’m moving to and here, as I do plan to visit often.

I’ve banked with Key for years and, for a bank, they don’t suck. But they have no presence where I’m going, so they’ll be useless there. And as long as I have to open a new bank account, I might as well do it now so that’s one less thing I’ll have to do when I move.

Anyway, I got my handy-dandy little paycheck on Friday and deposited it into my new account. I’m a man of little means, to be honest (sorry, ladies, no sugar daddy here), so I had little-to-no balance in my account when I deposited my check. This means, I needed the money from the check to do things like buy gas, groceries and whatnot.

As of yesterday, the check had still not cleared my bank. This is a payroll check, mind you. A check from a local, reputable company. And four days later, it still wasn’t available to draw from. Of course, M&T pointed out that the check was from “out of state” and it was only two “business days.”

1) When I write a check to pay a bill, it almost always goes out of state. And that shit clears they day they get it. Why doesn’t it work the other way.

2) Seriously. Business days? The bank was open on Saturday. Why doesn’t that count as a business day? I bought gas on Sunday … deducted immediately. Obviously, they bank is capable of doing business on a Sunday. So. Seriously. WTF?

Does anyone even reference “business days” any more except for banks and the postal service, which, I might point out, conducts business seven days a week.

And can ANYONE explain to me a real legit reason it should take what has now been FIVE effing days for my payroll check to clear?

I asked if in the future, I could deposit the check as cash. They said only if I had the cash in the account to cover it. Ditto to cashing the check itself.

I used to wonder how some people dealt without using banks. I think I know now. It’s actually easier.